Domestic Violence: Speak Up Before You Get a Wreath ! Ditch Stigma, Stay Alive

Domestic violence condoned in most African and Asian countries has gone northwards mainly because of rising unemployment and frustration.

The story of a Channels TV reporter is still fresh in the minds of everyone and a sore reminder by victims about what they have to endure.

Thos mostly at the receiving end are indeed the women even if there are cases of men being physically abused by their wives.

Some abused wives say they have taken her sorrows home to parents who in most cases send them right back to their violent husbands.

The main reason for shipping the woman back is to avoid stigma and accusations of having failed in raising a daughter to be submissive.

27-year-old Rosa (not real name), married for two and a half years reports that she took her case home to parents with bruises from a recent violent battery by her husband.

Her parents invited close relatives to hear her out. Rosa’s mother has lived in the same condition for 30 years and was sore aggrieved that her daughter has to go through the same ordeal.

Sadly, she could not speak up in defence of her only daughter because she risked her husband pouncing on her as well.

The woman later called her daughter aside to advise her to endure because of stigma and the respect that comes with being called a “Mrs.”

Rosa was advised to go back home and return with her husband on a set date while her father sent emissaries to her parents in-law to also come.

She managed to convince the husband to attend the meeting believing that the end of the painful ordeal was in sight.

To her utter dismay, horror and disappointment, Rosa’s husband was the only one allowed to speak at the meeting.

According to her, he narrated the most unbelievable stories about their relationship after which HER OWN FATHER ORDERED HER TO KNEEL DOWN AND APOLOGISE TO HER HUSBAND, BRIDLE HER TONGUE, RETURN TO HER HOME AND STAY SUBMISSIVE !

This is in spite of the fact that a number of relatives who had visited Rosa and her husband for a few days ha taken stories horror back to her parents.

The stage was thereafter set for the domestic violence like she has never experienced.

Rosa was never able to hold down a pregnancy having suffered multiple miscarriages.

Just like the of case Dr Mrs Angbo, her husband targets her stomach knowing fully well she is pregnant and deals punches on it.

Long story short, the young lady suffered a spinal cord injury after the husband threw her down from their story building.

Rosa’s mother had to flee her own marriage to move into an apartment and rescue what was left of her daughter.

Rosa is lucky to be alive. Many have been killed or are raising children under violent fathers.

Sadly, those children will grow up living out what they are used ts with their own spouses.

According to WHO, “Globally, as many as 38% of murders of women are committed by a male intimate partner.”

Regardless, men and women in peaceful marriages must be willing to lend a shoulder to grieving married friends.

It pays never to judge either the aggressor or the victim. Some of us have cultivated the habit of just listening and allowing tears flow.

The decision to stay or leave is solely that of the aggrieved. It helps to not give that advise, NEVER !